


the less i know the better

by ryseling



Series: The Less I Know, The Better [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Caleb Widogast Deserves Nice Things, Caleb Widogast's Amazing Self-Esteem, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, F/M, Gentleness, Implied Sexual Content, Intimacy, M/M, Miscommunication, Multi, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Caleb Widogast, Pining, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Rating May Change, Self-Loathing Caleb Widogast, Tenderness, Unrequited Love, also me: makes an entire story based on miscommunication, it's semi-mild but just to be safe, me: I hate miscommunication! just talk to each other it isn't that hard!, metaphors as a substitute for talking about feelings, they're all bad at this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:28:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22489456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryseling/pseuds/ryseling
Summary: Ich bin in Schwierigkeiten, he thought despairingly, catching a glimpse of one of the paladin’s hands reaching for the blue tiefling’s own hand under the table, seeing the way her eyes scrunched up fondly at the corners in response. Then, even more devastatingly,Ich bin verliebt.Or, five times Caleb Widogast acknowledges that he's in love with Jester and Fjord, and one time he finally realizes that the feeling is mutual.
Relationships: Fjord/Caleb Widogast, Fjord/Jester Lavorre, Fjord/Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast, Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Series: The Less I Know, The Better [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1573207
Comments: 56
Kudos: 359





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This whole series is an exercise in self-indulgence for me, but this fic in particular is gonna be a lot of that. What's the point of sticking to the canon timeline if I don't get some indulgence out of the suffering, right? 
> 
> (note that my definition of "sticking to the canon timeline" is a loose one at best)
> 
> Also, as a note, this is a direct sequel to the first installment of this series! However, you don't have to read that fic in order to understand what's going on in this one - the first chapter of this gives plenty of context.
> 
> Title from "The Less I Know The Better" by Tame Impala.

Caleb woke up encompassed.

He was fenced in on either side, his legs and arms pinned down beneath solid mass, and devoid of the comforting weight of his spell books and component pouches on his hips or Nott curled up at his feet. He could still feel the weight of his pendant around his neck, but instinctual panic surged up inside of him anyway, an immediate, frantic urge to get away. He jolted, thrashing in place just once before his movement prompted twin grunts - one of mere dissatisfaction, the other of more concentrated consternation - and he abruptly remembered where he was.

He hadn’t been captured. He couldn’t move his legs because he had someone else’s leg thrown over his hip, and a different someone’s tucked between both of Caleb’s. He couldn’t move his arms because one was steadily going numb beneath one solid body and the other was tucked against his chest by a blue arm that was looped around him and clasping both of their hands over his heart. The people in the room with him were thoroughly entangled with him, just beginning to shift with groggy waking in the early morning light spilling in through the sheer curtains. He didn’t have his spell books on him because he wasn’t wearing his holsters. He wasn’t wearing anything, in fact, besides the pendant. He was naked save for a necklace, surrounded on either side by Fjord and Jester, who were equally naked, tucked under the sheets of a big, ridiculously soft bed in the Lavish Chateau. 

A bed that the three of them had thoroughly christened just the evening before.

“Cayleb?” Jester’s voice was a low mumble against the back of his neck, her fingers flexing where they were twined with his, and her tail shifting beneath the covers to curl absently around his ankle. She yawned widely, a few wordless, incomprehensibly sleepy noises rising from her chest, before she pushed her forehead against the base of his neck. “What’s wrong?” she asked, her sweet lilt tinged with obvious concern despite the drowsy slur of her syllables.

His heart sank, immediately guilty for disturbing her. “ _Es tut mir leid_ ,” he apologized, swallowing when his voice came out terribly hoarse, before he tried again. “I did not mean to wake you.”

Another yawn, this one right against his neck and shoulders. He tensed to prevent himself from shivering at the way her breath dusted over his nape. Her hand that wasn’t holding his against his chest moved to press up against the curve of his spine, lightly stroking so her claws wouldn’t catch on his skin, an absent, soothing gesture.

“It’s okay, Cayleb,” she assured him. “We all fell asleep _preeetty_ early _anyway_ , and I wanna get up and have breakfast with my mama before we leave, too.”

“Will there be bacon?” Fjord’s voice almost made Caleb jump, with how low and gravely it was. Shifting a little in place made the wizard aware of the way he was tucked into Fjord’s chest, unable to look up at the other man’s face without pulling away. The half-orc’s arm tightened minutely around his waist when he moved, though, so he didn’t squirm any further.

Jester snickered against the back of the wizard’s neck. “Yes _Fjooord_ , there will be _bacon_ ,” she replied, tone teasing but undeniably fond.

The pressure in his chest sharpened, and Caleb closed his eyes against the way he felt so acutely like an _intruder_. It had been easier to ignore when the three of them were wrapped up in the throes of passion, easier to distract himself when he had their moans and sighs to drown out the clamor of his mind. Now, though, with nothing but pale morning sunlight making him visible again and crisp sheets the only thing separating him from exposure, he could feel nothing except uncertainty. Neither of them seemed in a rush to detangle themselves from him, though, even though Caleb could only imagine how much he’d overstayed his welcome at this point. Especially with how he’d woken the two of them up with his brief, sleep-induced panicked struggling - the first time in a long time he’d slipped like that, even just after waking. It was one thing to be with them when they’d invited him to _sleep with them_ , and entirely another when they were doing a far more _literal_ iteration of the term.

He had served his purpose to them. They would ask him to leave, surely, now that he wasn’t fulfilling that purpose anymore. Surely.

Fjord rumbled a pleased sound against the top of his head, and Jester giggled again against the back of his neck. Neither of them moved away from him.

“Good,” the paladin said around a wide yawn that briefly pushed the sharp jut of his chin a little uncomfortably into the top of Caleb’s head. A gentle squeeze to the human’s hip followed, and Fjord went on in an amused timbre, “As long as you’re not planning to steal my bacon again, that is.”

It managed to startle a quiet laugh out of the wizard, leaving him pleasantly taken aback. It felt like a lifetime ago that he had done that, but Fjord’s teasing little grudge over the matter was amusing, and... oddly charming, somehow. The smile that he could feel pressed against his temple when the paladin turned his head to nuzzle at his ginger hair helped, too. At the very least, it eased some of Caleb’s jitters, reassuring him that neither of them were under any sort of enchantment or false impression about his identity; as odd and frankly baffling as it was, they both seemed perfectly aware of who exactly they had slept with the night before, and who they still had sandwiched between them right now. He could be grateful for whatever had drawn them to invite him into their bed - and even more so for the fact that neither of them seemed like they were going to make things awkward between the three of them, now.

Beyond whatever pain might come out of knowing what it was like to have them, even if he couldn’t really _have_ them, he knew that any of this making things stilted or uncomfortable between them would hurt far worse. Not to mention how it might affect the rest of the group if they all started tiptoeing around each other.

“No, I will not steal your bacon, Fjord,” Caleb dragged himself away from his own tumultuous thoughts to assure. He moved a bit between them, feeling a flush crawl its way up his neck at the rasp of skin against skin, aware that all three of them were still very much naked and trying valiantly not to be distracted by that fact. He cleared his throat a little, continuing in a voice he was proud to find was only the slightest bit breathless, “We will need to, ah, get up, though, if - if we are to eat anything.”

Fjord only hummed, whereas Jester booed vehemently into the human’s nape, still somehow managing to keep her voice soft and non-disruptive with their proximity.

“We don’t _have_ to!” she denied, tail curling a bit more around his ankle. “We could _totally_ just stay in bed _all day_ and be _nice_ and _warm_ and _comfy_ and maybe have _sex_ again.”

Caleb’s whole body involuntary twitched at the suggestion, and he could feel Jester’s impish grin against his neck, teasing even as her hand at the small of his back stroked up and down the curve of his spine to soothe the tremble out of him.

Fjord made a noise low in his throat that was somewhere between a chuckle and a growl. “Now _that_ sounds like a winning idea,” he drawled, a hint of his old twang filtering back into his speech for just a moment. He gave Caleb’s hip a gentle but suggestive squeeze, dragging his palm tantalizingly up his side and trailing his touch around the curve of the shorter man’s shoulder blade, almost gentle enough to tickle.

Caleb felt his stomach flip and a shiver travel down his spine, and he closed his eyes, turning his face into the pillow a bit. “ _Nein_ , that is, ah, probably not a good idea,” he answered, even though he could feel lazy heat crawling under his skin, beckoning him to sink into the pleasant ache of all the places they had bruised him, inviting him to surrender to their touches and see if they would mark him _again_. He shifted, shivering once more at the slight, delicate catch of skin against skin. “I do not think it would go unnoticed if we did not leave this room for the whole day.”

There was a moment where the hands lightly tracing over the lines of his body stopped. Caleb couldn’t see either of their faces with his own face pressed into soft fabric and his head still mostly tucked under Fjord’s chin, but he noted the stillness all the same - the way Jester’s motions drawing what he imagined were dicks (and hoped were only drawn with her fingers) on the small of his back stopped all at once, while Fjord’s movements faltered and slowed to a stop where he was now tracing circles against the back of Caleb’s shoulder. The pause stretched on just long enough for Caleb to consider sitting up to see what was wrong, or perhaps to apologize (though he wasn’t sure what for, exactly), or to do both, but then Jester was humming and pushing her nose into the dip between his shoulder blades with a giggle.

“That’s true. You are _preeetty_ loud, Cayleb,” she remarked, and he could feel her wide, fanged grin on his back.

He immediately flushed pink at her words. “Oh, ehm.” He swallowed, turning his head further into the pillow in a half-hearted attempt to smother himself. “I - _ja_ ,” he said lamely, feeling mortification worm its way up the column of his spine, unsure of what else to respond with.

Fjord patted his shoulder, a somewhat stilted, weirdly friendly gesture, considering their collective nudity and the fact that he and Jester had both been propositioning Caleb for another round not even a minute ago. “We aren’t complaining,” the paladin clarified, to which Jester nodded rapidly, accidentally jabbing at Caleb’s skin with her horns in her enthusiasm.

“We’re _reeaally_ not,” she agreed, moving her hand from the small of his back to worm it under his body instead, until she could curl both of her arms around him and hug him against her chest. Just as quickly as she had done that, though, she released him again and began wiggling backwards, haphazardly detangling herself from their pile. “But it _is_ pretty early and people _might_ still be _sleeping_ , you know - and it wouldn’t be very _nice_ of us if we woke them all _up_ , really!”

Her arms withdrew from him fully, and even though her skin was usually cool, Caleb felt himself tense up a little at the way the room seemed chillier without her presence at his back. Fjord curled more fully around him as if to compensate. 

A soft giggle and the sounds of shuffling fabric from the end of the bed had Caleb finally sitting up enough to turn his head and look in Jester’s direction, despite the grunt of protest from the half-orc still mostly wrapped around him. The sight of her perched on the edge of the bed - no longer naked but still exposed in just her smallclothes, looking adorably rumpled with her messy, unbrushed hair and still-sleep-puffy eyes, bearing a smattering of small, dark marks along her chest and collarbone that he blushed to remember putting there himself - was more than enough to make Caleb stare in quiet awe. The tiefling beamed at him as soon as she noticed, quietly preening as she bent to pick her dress up off the floor and tugged it up her hips and torso, shimmying into the garment showily.

“ _Ja_ , that was - that was my thinking,” Caleb said back, the words tripping off his tongue several moments belated.

Jester snickered and straightened the dress across her shoulders, fully standing up at last. “Then we should get breakfast!” she concluded with cheery finality.

She smoothed her hands over her skirt, pinching and tugging at her sleeves as well to adjust how they settled over her arms, and flicked her eyes between the two men still sprawled out over the bed with another smile, this one softer-edged, even though it was just as bright. “I’m going to go say good morning to my _mama_ , and see where everyone _else_ ended up after last night, but _you_ both should get dressed and come downstairs if you want to _eat_! I bet _Nott_ and _Beau_ will eat _aaall_ of the food if you don’t!”

Fjord flapped one hand vaguely at her, the gesture seeming to be some half-attempted hybrid between a salute and a thumbs up. “Yes ma’am,” he intoned dutifully, syllables still dragging low with sleep. The wizard nodded along when her violet gaze was turned on him, as well, for the moment not trusting himself to speak again.

The cleric grinned at both confirmations, wiggling her fingers in a parting wave as she headed out the door, a skip in her step and an upward curl to her tail.

Caleb listened as her steps faded down the corridor, lost again now that Jester had left the two of them alone. Even if both she and Fjord seemed oddly willing to tolerate his continued presence, that was still when they were _all together_ , when they both could partake of him simultaneously and _equally_. This felt more like getting between them - like he was monopolizing Fjord’s time and was pushing Jester away, driving a wedge between them. Logically, he knew that Jester had left of her own accord and that she would likely be back for _both_ of them if they really _did_ try to stay in bed all day, and he knew that Fjord didn’t seem bothered by the tiefling’s departure nor especially eager to retract his arm from where it was still lazily thrown over Caleb’s waist. But Caleb himself still felt adrift, unsettled and restless like he was caught between running away and curling up in a ball to never move again.

Clawed fingertips lightly brushing across his hip drew his attention away from where his thoughts were circling the metaphorical drain, and he refocused to look down at Fjord. The human immediately felt his heart trip over itself trying to decide whether to lodge itself in his throat, tumble down into his stomach, or beat straight out of his chest. The paladin laying below him was just as sleep-mussed and disheveled as Jester had been, and his eyes were still squinting a little like he wasn’t entirely pleased to be awake, but the way his hair fell messily over his forehead, the loose sprawl of his limbs, the smoothed-out lines of his face, and the way his golden eyes almost glowed in the morning sunlight rendered him _radiant_.

“Did my shirt end up somewhere over there?” he inquired, mouth quirking softly upwards on one side, eyes honey-warm where they blinked languidly up at Caleb.

The wizard looked at the clothes strewn across the floor beside the bed, hoping that his face wasn’t as red as it felt. “ _Ja_ , it’s here,” he answered, spotting the shirt in question near the foot of the bed. He slipped out from under the half-orc’s arm to reach for the garment, turning to hand it back to his companion.

“Thanks, Cay,” Fjord said around a yawn, sitting up as well to take the apparel from the shorter man.

The clumsy kiss he pressed to Caleb’s shoulder before he drew away to begin getting dressed only made the human more flushed. “ _Nichts zu danken_ ,” he mumbled, shuffling away to begin picking his own clothes up off the floor.

They got dressed in silence. The atmosphere somehow remained peaceful and comfortable, even as the sounds of movement and the muffled drift of voices elsewhere in the Lavish Chateau began to reach them from outside the room. Caleb felt a little less lost once he was back in possession of his component pouches and book holsters, and regained his senses enough to ignore the little flutter he got in his chest every time he stole a glance at Fjord and found the paladin already looking back, a boyish smile on his handsome face.

He went pink all over again when the other man retrieved his scarf for him and came to stand in front of him, taking the time to loop the fabric around Caleb’s neck. He cleared his throat, not quite looking up into the half-orc’s eyes when he interrupted quietly, “We will be missed, if we take too long. And I think the others really will eat all of the bacon.”

Fjord’s hands slowed to a stop, coming to rest lightly on Caleb’s collarbone once he finished folding the last of the soft fabric. “Caleb...” he murmured, brows drawing together slightly. 

He paused, sucking in a slow breath through his teeth like he was steeling himself to say something, apparently more interested in that than concerned with the bacon. Caleb swallowed tightly, tensing as a fresh wave of anxiety washed over him, though he tried not to show his nerves too openly as he waited for whatever was to come. Perhaps now would be when the other man finally told him to leave.

“Do you... not want people to know?” Fjord questioned, tone a little stilted and slow, like it got when he didn’t quite know how to word something.

Caleb blinked back at him, bewildered. “ _Was_?” he managed after a moment, hands twitching at his sides.

Fjord winced, shifting on his feet and finally allowing his hands to drop away from the human’s collar. It didn’t feel as much like a relief as Caleb had thought it would. 

The taller man stared back at him, his face cycling rapidly through a number of expressions - almost looking as though he was coming to some sort of realization - before his features settled into some amalgamate of patience, worry, and resignation. “I mean,” he offered, “Jester and I are together. As I’m sure you... figured out.” He cleared his throat, shifting on his feet again. “You know we’ve never said as much to the rest of the group. But we both agreed, if someone _asked_... We said we wouldn’t lie. We said we’d tell the others about us if they asked us.”

He tilted his head a bit at Caleb, chasing eye contact until the wizard finally - hesitatingly - returned his gaze. “Would you be okay with that?” he asked lowly. “If someone _did_ ask, would you be okay with it if we mentioned you, too?”

Caleb felt his confusion return in full force, and he stared dumbfounded at Fjord for several silent moments, trying in vain to parse out what exactly the question meant. 

He could understand well enough that the paladin was addressing privacy; he and Jester hadn’t actually told any of the others about their relationship, and Caleb was self-aware enough to realize that it was likely only the special attention that he paid to the both of them, specifically, that had clued him in to the true nature of their relationship in the first place. He wasn’t quite sure what their reasons were for keeping the matter to themselves, but it was hardly his place to question it. Caleb just couldn’t _help_ but question what it meant to include him in their willingness to discuss their relationship if others asked. It wasn’t unreasonable to be prepared to have their previous escapade come to light at some point, considering the group of friends they had, but he knew that that wasn’t what Fjord was talking about, really. 

He was _including_ Caleb in the possibility of discussing his and Jester’s relationship. The stupid, hopeful part of the wizard’s traitorous heart _begged_ him to make something of that. Caleb shoved the feeling away - he knew better than to get his hopes up, knew better than to believe he could be wanted that way, let alone actually _deserve_ it - but it was impossible to entirely _disregard_ this inclusion. Even if it couldn’t mean what he wanted it to mean, its deliberate delivery clearly meant _something_.

“Caleb?” 

The quiet, uncertain call brought him out of his head, and he reeled for a moment, trying to figure out some way he could possibly respond to this with Fjord’s increasingly concerned visage still peering down at him.

“Yes, that, ah - that would be okay,” he eventually responded, jerking his head in a short, stiff nod.

Fjord’s brows furrowed a bit. “Yeah?” he checked, appearing doubtful.

Caleb nodded again, more firmly this time. “If someone asks,” he affirmed quietly. The others were bound to figure it out at some point, anyway, whether or not Fjord or Jester were the ones to tell them. 

And, ultimately, Caleb knew that he was a selfish man. Whatever being included in this privacy-publicity agreement with the two of them meant, he would cling to it, for as long as Jester and Fjord would allow him to.

“Alright,” Fjord said, quirking another small smile at him. 

He tilted his head for a moment, gazing quietly at the shorter man, before he turned to pluck the leather cord that Caleb had removed from his hair at some point during the events of the previous night from the side table. Rather than simply hand it to Caleb, however, the paladin reached out - his gaze searching and eyes asking permission the whole time, movements slow in case permission was ever revoked - and gently carded his fingers through red hair, avoiding snagging his claws on any of the strands as he brushed them away from Caleb’s face and carefully gathered them in his palm. A few deft movements and a light tug, then Fjord was drawing back again, having neatly tied Caleb’s hair back and out of his face for him.

The human felt his pulse stumble and his breathing hitch for a moment, overwhelmed, and the urge to flee finally won out over his confusion and curiosity and selfish, stupid desire. He turned away, ducking his head as if it would do anything to hide his blush, and muttered quickly, “Breakfast is waiting for us,” before making his way across the room to slip out of the door.

He could hear Fjord’s footsteps trailing after him, but Caleb kept his eyes forward and his head down as he made his way downstairs, doing his utmost to simply breathe past his nerves. He was afraid to see the look on Fjord’s face - afraid to see if he had confused or hurt him, afraid to think of what that could _mean_ if he _had_. Best to not think about it too much. Best to not get his hopes up. Best to avoid conversations like this in the future, if he could, whether for their protection or for his (but mostly for his, because he was fragile and pathetic and _selfish_ , always so _selfish_ \- )

But when they got downstairs, Jester beamed at them from where she sat beside her mother at the other end of the table, musical voice lilting over half-sung syllables and laughter as she called out an exuberant greeting, one that was soon echoed (in varying degrees of enthusiasm) by the rest of their friends.

And Fjord gently brushed a hand over Caleb’s forearm as they approached the table, giving a small amount of pressure to the inside curve of his wrist, a smile on the paladin’s handsome face that had the wizard trailing after him to sit down between Caduceus and the Ruby of the Sea, right across from where Fjord sat between Jester and Beau.

And they still didn’t talk about it - stayed silent about everything that had transpired between them the night before and this morning - but the way that Jester gently pulled him into pleasant discussion with Marion and the happy curl of her tail behind her each time he contributed to the conversation of his own accord, and the light, teasing jabs that he and Fjord exchanged and the way Fjord, in the end, shoveled his last piece of bacon onto Caleb’s plate unprompted, suffused an aching sort of warmth all throughout Caleb’s chest.

_Ich bin in Schwierigkeiten_ , he thought despairingly, catching a glimpse of one of the paladin’s hands reaching for the blue tiefling’s own hand under the table, seeing the way her eyes scrunched up fondly at the corners in response. Then, even more devastatingly, _Ich bin verliebt_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seeing as CR is currently on a hiatus and we won't be getting a new episode tonight, I thought a Thursday would be a good time to finally publish this!
> 
> This chapter is set early on in episode 78, during the group's trip from Nicodranas to Zadash - aka, another excuse for me to make shit up and practice shameless self-indulgence~
> 
> Title (still) from "The Less I Know The Better" by Tame Impala.

Being on the road again after everything that had happened at the Lavish Chateau felt like the cold shock of plunging into frigid water.

It was exactly thirteen and a half days’ travel from Nicodranas to Zadash on horseback, and everyone seemed intent on making use of the transient time between the two cities to the best of their abilities. Caleb himself usually stuck to his books, working on transcribing spells by the campfire whenever they stopped, while the rest of the Mighty Nein went about their own business around him, though periodic bursts of boisterous noise or the occasional, intentional call of a friend seeking his attention would occasionally pull him away from his work. He rarely minded, in the end; the interruptions were always either well-intentioned or incidental, and Caleb didn’t hold either against any of his friends.

The way that Nott could hover over his shoulder and listen as he talked about magic, the way that Beau’s dramatic smut readings or playful arm-punches reached him so easily, the way that Caduceus could put a hand on his shoulder or tap the front of his book to call his attention for one thing or another, though - they all served as constant reminders of just how little _privacy_ there was between them all.

Back in the Lavish Chateau, his absence, as well as the absence of two of their other companions, had gone unnoticed by the rest of the group for an entire night. Now that they were out on the road again, hardly anyone was out of sight of anyone else for longer than a few minutes. Whether in their nightly encampments or out in the open on horseback during the day, any conversations held tended to grow to include the whole group sooner or later, and it was almost an unspoken rule at this point that everyone had to come out of their own little worlds whenever Caduceus served a meal. After the dizzying rush of so much _closeness_ with two very specific people, it was jarring for the continued proximity to be accompanied by such acute vulnerability to scrutiny.

It was easier to avoid thinking about it at all. Easier to go on as though nothing had changed, easier to keep his distance, easier to reach for his books and his ink in spare moments to attend to the spellwork that Essek had given to him, rather than try to parse through everything that had happened - both on the evening that they had arrived in Nicodranas, and the morning after.

It would be easier still, he suspected, if Fjord and Jester did the same. Instead, he found both his focus and his movements arrested as he reached for his spellbook by the sudden presence of the group’s paladin and cleric sitting down on either side of him.

Tonight, they were setting up camp at the top of a low, sloping hill overlooking a small valley, the landscape grassy with a narrow river running through its center. Caduceus and Fjord had already gathered up firewood from a nearby copse of trees and cleared a patch of ground for their campfire, and it only took a brief cantrip from Caleb to get a flame going. Beau had immediately flopped over on her back on the other side of the fire, only moving enough to make sweeping gestures above her head with her arms as she loudly debated with Nott - something about the possible effects of combining alchemical components with enchanted objects - while Caduceus attended to tying up their horses for the night. None of them seemed to be paying much attention to human, half-orc, or tiefling, but Caleb felt as though their gazes were burning him.

Or perhaps that was just the two people now bracketing him on the large stone he had chosen to seat himself on.

"Evening, Cay," Fjord barely got out the address before Jester broke in. 

“ _Caaayleb_ ,” she greeted Caleb in what was almost a melody, a grin on her face, her tail curling over her shoulder, and her whole upper body leaning just slightly into his space. It would have been distracting, maybe, if not for the way that she immediately asked, “How do you _bathe_ Frumpkin?”

He was certain he ought to be used to being blindsided by Jester Lavorre by now. A quick glance at Fjord, seated on his other side, told him he wasn’t alone in not quite having figured out how to do that just yet.

“I do not, usually - ”

“You don’t give him _baths_?” she exclaimed, aghast. She had that familiar look on her face, the one she had always worn when she would poke and prod at him to wash off the filth that he wore so frequently in their earliest days of knowing each other: a little scrunch of her nose, slightly puffed-up cheeks, a faint downward curve of her brows, and a spark of earnest - though thankfully not intense - distress in her eyes at the prospect of uncleanliness.

Considering the fact that many of the battles that they got themselves into left all of them covered in sweat and grime, heavy viscera, or _worse_ more often than not, a little bit of dirt or dust might have seemed rather inconsequential in the grander scheme of things to someone else. But not to Jester.

Despite himself, Caleb was hopelessly (horribly) endeared.

“Well, he is, ah... a familiar, a fey creature, not a - ehm, a _cat_ -cat,” he responded, and maybe her being in his space was still distracting with the way he could feel himself stammering, even with a rather unusual question to try to focus on answering.

If anything, that only deepened the furrow of Jester’s brows, her mouth pulling downwards into a little pouting frown. “Nugget is fey _too_ , but I’ve been telling Yeza to _bathe_ him whenever I _message_!” she countered.

Caleb chanced another glance at Fjord out of the corner of his eye, and found the taller man watching the both of them with a little half-grin on his face that crinkled the edges of his eyes, the expression a mixture of amusement and so much _fondness_ that Caleb felt his heart twist in his chest. He couldn’t pick apart and examine it to figure out what it might mean, exactly, not now, but guilt welled up inside him all the same, leaving the familiar, bitter taste of ashes stuck under his tongue, and he swiftly returned his gaze to Jester.

“If Frumpkin has taken the shape of a creature that enjoys water, he may get a wash,” he explained at length. Octopus Frumpkin seemed to enjoy it, at least, and raven Frumpkin tolerated a bit of water on his feathers from time to time. “Frumpkin is usually a cat, though, or he is not on this plane at all. He may bathe himself when he is not here, I am unsure, but I do not make a habit of giving him baths myself.”

Jester groaned deeply, throwing her head back and slumping with disappointment. Fjord chuckled, leaning around Caleb and lifting one foot to gently kick at the tiefling’s leg from the other side of their shared stone seating arrangement. “Bested by hygiene,” he said with teasing solemnity, adding a sad, sage shake of his head in spite of the way his mouth was still quirked upwards in a smile. “Sorry, Jes, but this one might be a lost cause.”

The cleric huffed back at him, sitting up straight once more to level a pout at the both of them. “Sprinkle _reeeaaally_ needs a _bath_ , though!” she insisted, crossing her arms. “And I don’t want to just _dump him_ in the water, that would be _really_ mean, and I don’t want him to _freak out_ or be _mad_ at me or anything! I just think he would feel _better_ once he’s _clean_ , you know?”

Asking about his cleaning routine with Frumpkin made a bit more sense, now. “Being clean would be good, _ja_ ,” Caleb agreed slowly, aware of the irony of that statement coming from him (even more so when he saw the way Fjord’s grin turned shit-eating out of the corner of his eye), but went on without pause, “I believe that Sprinkle would appreciate being bathed, it may just be a matter of, ah… of ensuring his comfort, throughout the process.” 

Jester made a face, opening her mouth to say something else, before the paladin nudged at her ankle again with the toe of his boot. “I would be more than happy to lend a hand if you want any help,” he offered.

The cleric blinked at him, violet eyes sparking with something a little more lighthearted and decidedly more mischievous, now. “Have _you_ given a lot of animals _baths_ before, _Fjooord_?” she lilted, putting her whole upper body into leaning towards him with faux-innocent curiosity.

He faltered a bit, stumbling over a flustered “well, _no_ ,” before he cleared his throat and continued on with a slightly sheepish shrug of his shoulders, “But two pairs of hands are usually better than one, right?” 

He paused, turning away from Jester’s snickering face to focus golden eyes that glowed like embers in the flickering firelight on Caleb instead, his little half-grin from earlier returning as he raised his brows at the shorter man. “Maybe you’d be better off with Caleb helping you, though,” he mused, nudging his shoulder against the wizard’s. “Since he’s the one with real animal handling experience, and all that.”

The urge to remind Fjord that his experience was negligible at best got tangled up with the sensation of his stomach flipping from some strange, unsettling combination of giddiness and disquiet, and Caleb found himself tongue-tied instead, unable to give voice to the protest. 

They both kept finding ways to do things like this, was the thing, in spite of the fact that the three of them were never really alone together: ways to be _close_ , ways to initiate innocuous little touches like this one. It would have been easier (or at least easy _enough_ ) to brush off casual bumps of shoulders, gentle elbows in ribs, pats on the back, hair ruffles, brushes of fingertips against his wrists or the backs of his hands, or any of the other points of contact that they shared (Caleb thought that they ought to be marked on his skin by now, _branded_ there, for all the ways that every one of their touches made him feel), if it wasn’t for the warm, honey-eyed glances, and bright, fanged smiles that seemed to accompany every single one. All of it never failed to put a stutter in his veins - even now, he could feel the trembling of his pulse beneath his skin.

He felt his throat tighten in response to that fluttery sensation, his mind hissing, _it’s not for you, it can’t be for you_. It wouldn’t make any _sense_ for any of this to be something that he was _meant_ to be the recipient of. It _didn’t_ make sense.

The sour jolt of anxiety that seized him at the phrase _better off with Caleb_ passing Fjord’s lips did nothing to ease that feeling - only worsened it - but the fear that the words elicited was enough, at least, to finally loose protests from his tongue.

“ _Nein_ ,” was all he managed at first, freezing for a fraction of a second when the pronunciation drew their attention to him immediately. He curled his hands into loose fists for a moment and nodded slightly towards the half-orc before he went on, “I have no level of, ehm - of expertise in this - in these matters. I am sure that I would be no more helpful than Fjord, or - ” He swallowed once. “Or anyone else that you might enlist for assistance in this endeavor.”

He lifted his head again after his words were met with a beat of silence. Fjord’s earlier smile was gone, replaced instead by a small wrinkle in his brow and owlishly blinking eyes. Jester was peering at him with her head tilted to the side, her expression open with something like surprise, but somehow pensive in a way that made Caleb nervous.

“ _Weeelll_ ,” she chimed in, the drawn-out interjection so high-pitched it was almost a squeak, “You know, it’d _probably_ be even easier with _three_ pairs of hands!” She held up her hands in front of her as if in some sort of demonstration, waving them about in front of her as she spoke. “Fjord could get the _water_ , and _you_ could heat it up, Cayleb! And I’d make sure I had some _healing spells_ in case he tries to bite us, and we could _all_ wash Sprinkle _together_!”

Fjord turned to squint at her. “Did you say healing spells?” he queried. “He’s not going to savage our hands, is he?”

“Of course not!” Jester dismissed with a huff, sitting up straighter and folding her hands primly in her lap. “Sprinkle _loves_ people!”

The paladin’s squint deepened, and he took a breath to say something else, but clicked his mouth shut again when a tall, lanky shadow fell over the three of them. They all looked up in unison to find Caduceus standing before them, one hand raised in a half-wave.

“Hey,” he greeted them with a twitch of his ears, offering a wide, easy smile. “Sorry to interrupt, just - would you all mind if I stole one of you for a minute? I could use some help setting things up, tonight.”

Caleb watched from his peripherals as his two companions exchanged a wordless look that he didn’t understand, before Fjord rose to his feet with a little grunt, stretching his arms over his head. “I can help, Caduceus,” he volunteered. He cast a quick smile and a wave over his shoulder to the human and the tiefling, before striding away across the few feet between the stone they had all been sitting on and the campfire on the firbolg’s heels.

The shorter man watched them go silently, only turning when a feather-light brush of claw-tips against his knuckles softly called his attention.

“Cayleb?” Jester gazed steadily back at him, not drawing her hand away. “You know, you don’t _have_ to help bathe Sprinkle if you don’t _want_ to,” she reminded him, fiddling with her tail with the hand not reaching out to him. 

Caleb didn’t respond, unsure how to explain himself for his earlier outburst (however mild it may have been) without sounding pathetic. He never wanted to make either of them feel as though he _didn’t_ want to spend time with them, and he certainly didn't want to make them think he was _rejecting_ their subtle acts of kindness (even though it felt so _selfish_ to accept them), but the apprehension and fear - fear that he treading all over a good thing, fear that his presence was pushing apart two very precious people who didn’t deserve that, fear that he was _ruining_ them - was still clinging to him, thick and smothering.

Seeing that he was at a loss for words, Jester scooted a little closer to him, until one of her knees was pressed against his and her cool hand settled more fully over the back of his ink- and soot-stained one. “ _I_ think it’d be _really fun_ to do it all together!” she emphasized. “Me and Fjord are _really_ strong, so we could _wash_ Sprinkle while you use your _magic_ to heat up the bathtub! Or maybe you could make _pretty lights_ instead, ‘caaause I _think_ that magic fire would _maybe_ make the water too hot… But maybe that would be good _anyway_ , you know? Maybe it’d make the bath even _better_ , like when it’s really _clean_ , and all _spruced up_ and _handsome_ , and very _smart_ and _talented_ and _super_ nice, and makes everyone _really_ happy to be around and share things with!”

The wizard stared at her, heart giving a single, hard thump against his breastbone. “Are we… Are we still talking about giving Sprinkle a bath, or…?” he fumbled over asking, mentally reeling and trying not to give in to the urge to fidget.

She beamed toothily at him. “ _Totally_!” she replied, and maybe it was just the reddish glow of the campfire’s flames dancing across her blue skin, but Caleb could almost swear that her cheeks were tinted just the slightest bit purple.

The tiefling got to her feet before he could be sure, briskly brushing off the skirt of her dress and turning around to face him with her arms akimbo. “I’m going to help with _dinner_!” she announced with a swish of her tail. “You can come _too_ , Cayleb! You could help me convince _Fjord_ and _Caduceus_ to make something _sweet_ , instead of all that really _tangy_ stuff we had _last_ night.” She stuck out her tongue in mock disgust, though her violet eyes were glimmering with humor even as she finally turned from him.

Caleb watched her skip the short way over to their two teammates already hard at work preparing the food, devoting themselves to dicing meat and vegetables. He observed quietly from the sidelines as Jester slotted herself in between them effortlessly, taking over chopping up a few mushrooms from Caduceus to allow the other cleric to tend the fire, and smiling as she bumped elbows with Fjord over a shared makeshift cutting board. Jester’s immediate efforts to sneak various herbs and spices into the cooking pot at random, and Fjord’s answering loud, spirited protests pulled a smile from the Zemnian man, a familiar buzzing, too-warm feeling pushing at the inside of his ribcage when he peered a little closer at the scene, seeing the ways that their eyes connected over playfully jabbing elbows and cutting knives angled carefully away to avoid causing any harm, the ways that shoulder bumps became leaning against one another and scolding smacks to darting hands became gentle holds of wrists or the interlocking of fingers for fleeting seconds at a time. Even if Caleb knew that he likely wouldn’t have noticed - or at least wouldn’t have understood the extent of - this unspoken language of theirs had he not been looking for it, each of their movements now stood out to him as easily identifiable gestures of something deeper; something comfortably familiar and achingly tender.

A part of Caleb curled in on itself, twisting painfully somewhere between his stomach and his throat, at seeing the way that they fit together so seamlessly (he didn’t believe in things like people being made or meant for one another, and yet), but another part - slightly bigger, and so much kinder - could feel nothing but a fragile, tremulous sort of warmth unfolding inside his chest.

The warmth was enough, for now, to bring him to his feet, enough to guide him across their campsite to quietly ask Caduceus what he could do to help with the meal preparations, and to smile - quietly, shyly, not-quite-privately - when Jester cheered enthusiastically and Fjord offered him another one of his boyish half-grins, his mind repeating a soft, silent mantra of _I love them, I love them, I love them_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure I don't need to tell you all how crazy life's been recently, but thank you to all the people who stuck with this story and left so many encouraging comments! Reading all the feedback this story's gotten so far really helped to keep me motivated and enthusiastic about this project amidst the craziness.
> 
> Hope everyone's staying safe and healthy! Comments and kudos are always appreciated, or you can come talk to me on [Tumblr!](https://ryseling.tumblr.com)
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed~

**Author's Note:**

> First time I'm writing a chaptered fic on AO3! I'm really excited to be working on this project, so hopefully updates won't be too far between.
> 
> I'd be interested to see if anyone can guess any of the Widofjorester moments between episodes 77 and 91 that I'll be using for this fic~ Or if people are just as stoked about this ship as I am and just wanna ramble about cute moments, I'll literally never pass up the opportunity to talk about these nerds and will delight in others' mutual excitement.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed~


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